So, before getting started, i want to give quick brief about myself – i’m a 31 year old programmer living in New York, working six figure job. You might think that’s a lot, but for New York, not quite. Anyway, let’s get to the point. I wanted to discuss how dating early in your life (before mid-twenties) can screw over rest of your life. I decided to write this because i had similar thing happen to me, and just found out that my brother is similar issues. So hopefully, curious young people out there will read this and act accordingly.
First of all, i have nothing against getting sexual experience in your early life. I think as soon as kids reach sexual maturity, they should experience what it is like. Now that we have discussed that, i want to explain why i think serious dating in your early life is very bad idea. I think most of our learning process, about the world and our surroundings, happens during that time of life. And having someone wrong influencing you during that time, might have devastating results. It might be good influence as well, but i think every individual should decide for themselves what’s good and bad, and i value originality over copied good traits. I think there is no recipe for goodness, and it lies in individuality. Everyone should think and decide for themselves without any influencers. If you want ice fishing boots, you should be able to get one without any consequences.
Another reason is that, many of life-altering decisions happen during that time of our lives. Kids choose the college and major when they’re just eighteen, and sometimes major part of that decision is human relationships – they want to be close with their friends or significant others. I’m not against having friends, because even though they do influence your decision, it’s not the same as girlfriend. You can go to different colleges that are few hour rides away and still manage to keep in touch. But you can’t do the same with girlfriends. She needs to be close to you, preferably in the same campus. So that sometimes plays major role in choosing college and i think that’s very wrong. You should pick most important things that you want from college, and pick one that will satisfy all or most of your requirements. And just to be clear, i’m not going against love here, as 99% of young relationships don’t last anyway. And when it ends, like mine did, you’re left with a college and major that don’t meet your needs, and you have to live rest of your life with that. Or you can do it all over again, losing three years and tens of thousands of dollars of your life.
Third reason is that maintaining relationship requires too much energy that could be used for more useful things. As mentioned earlier, early years is the only time when you have free time to pursue a lot of different things, without worrying about making a living or getting kicked out of your apartment. So you should use that time to acquire as many useful skills as possible, which can help you succeed in later part of your life.